(1867-03-26) For You to Decide
For You to Decide
Summary: In having a bit of a question of faith, Emilia seeks out the Prophet Hashim for his opinion.
Date: 1867-03-26
Related: Not Listening and Emilia things in general
Emilia  Hashim  

Office - Roseguard Castle - Ironhold - Rivana
See Scene

With the lingering days in Ironhold, perhaps some measure of routine had been found, if such was possible for the even more distant visitors. But surely after being away from home for so long, they had found some turn of routine within their days and were welcoming of the warming that spring was bringing to Rivana's shores. And while it was likely not unusual for visitors to come seeking time with Hashim, or requests for his time, a request had come from one who's story he had been familiar with long before they had actually met, Emilia Cassomir.

The request had come with all the politeness and protocol that one might expect, and had simply asked if he might spare some time to speak with her. With the request granted, Emilia had been certain to arrive to a touch early in getting to around to the wing that had been given over to the Alhazred for their use during their stay. Given the location and whom she was 'calling upon', Emilia had deviated from her usual attire and was actually wearing a dress. Something in a deep green and somewhat simple, least by the fashion standards of Rivana Court. Upon being admitted, a respectful and deep curtsey is given in her ethereal style,"Good of day, I am hoping that the day finds you of well. And I am thanking for your time to be of seeing me, Prophet of Nejem."

Hashim, along with Kabede Aman, has been among the most visible of the Alhazred contingent while staying here in Ironhold. He has frequently gone out in the town, and has eagerly visited every spot that his hosts have deigned to show him. While the local Bishop has not been quite so warm as the Archbishop Alpin Langford, he at least hasn't been rude, likely because Hashim has not been doing any proselytizing. But in those times that he is not out and about, he is often in the common space of the guest quarters, reading or writing or conversing with his fellows. For this meeting, however, he is in one of the vacant offices of the castle, and there are no servants present. Unsure of what Emilia might wish to speak of, he figured privacy might be best.

When she arrives, he rises from his chair, bowing to her and smiling just a touch, "I greet you in peace, Milady, and please, no need for excessive courtesies. This is your home…and I find my time here less occupied than I might in other places." He doesn't sound regretful of that at all, "Now…how is it I may help you this day?"

There is a faint tugging at the corners of her lips when he brushes off the need for the excessive courtesis,"It is perhaps of so, but you are of being an honored and of respected of guest in my of home." Dipping her head in some sense of understanding,"It is the way when not of at home, least of eventually, there is not of as much to occupy of one's time." Drifting to take up a seat,"I was of having some questions…" Her brow scrunches just a little,"Perhaps not of questions exacatly…more of wishing for of..your of opinion?" Emilia takes a slight breathe,"What I am of meaning to say is…since you are of knowing of mine…situation…if you were of thinking that the One was actually of paying any of mind to of me?"

Hashim tilts his head, looking curious at the question, then leaning back, studying her carefully. The expression on his weathered and worn face is still a warm one, but there is clearly deep thought occurring behind his eyes, "I would believe it a certainty, milady. Your situation is, so far as Sirrah or I can ascertain, unique, not just in the present, but in all the records that either of us have access to. I know there are those that profess faith without holding true belief, that might scoff at such notions, but I believe He must have some purpose for you, Lady Emilia. Not simply in your survival, but in how sorely you have been tested by it."

The Prophet considers a few moments, before asking, "Am I to take from your question that you do not believe it so? Or is it simply a matter of questioning?"

It is an answer that even with that stoic mien, there is clear interest in hearing. Emilia nods just a little,"My situation is of unique." There was a certain level of certainty in her statement. But then Emilia did have it on good authority, that she was unique in all of time…pretty much. "It is…mostly of questioning. We…" her hand flutters into the air with a mild indication to her head,"..have been going of around upon of the matter of recently. And with They…the shadow within….being of older than of the One. To know of such things, I cannot but wonder of about it at of times. For I have no of room to deny that I am tested," daily…hourly.." but to have such an ancient thing within of me…..You can perhaps of understand why I would of question as of well."

"Of course. What has befallen you is no blessing, it is certain." Hashim notes, his mien growing more solemn, "And when men and women are tested with far lesser trials they are driven to question. They cannot help but wonder why such misfortune befalls them. Why they are tested so. What purpose is there in it?" Hashim smiles, "And to be truthful, even a Prophet cannot answer these questions directly. I can tell you what I believe…what you believe is for you to decide." He nods, "But your blessing is not in the trial…but in the strength that you bear that allows you to weather that trial. I believe there are few that could."

"It is of true, each is at of times tested in of different of ways, and each is in of turn having different of strength to of endure the tests of placed before of them. But of aye, it is of hard not to of question the of why." There is that faint tugging at the corners of Emilia's lips,"That is of why I ask of opinion not of answers. For I am not of sure there is of any of one who can truly of answer the of why in of this. Not that it keeps me from of wondering at of it at times." Hard not to some days. "And I of know that for the lose of taken, and the trial of I endure, there is of yet things that have come to be that likely would have not without such of a price paid. As it is not very of likely a fourth son of a Baron would have become of King without such a chain of events. Thus of sometimes, I do of wonder if such was of the price so that of Rivana could have of a King that they of need, that mine-siblings could have of such of happiness in of marriage. " Doubtful others in her family have similar thoughts on that chain of events. "And thus such of defines of my purpose in of it all, and yet of other times…I cannot hepl put of wonder if there is something of worse, something of more to yet to of comes…If it is They and those of such that are what of drives of mine fate…rather than of the One. In of the end..I just of know…there is cost, of price…for every of thing." There is a faint flicker of that Emilia smile again,"And that I of really know of nothing about of the why of it all."

Hashim listens in silence, a hand reaching up to lightly stroke at the beard that covers his chin while Emilia speaks. He nods a bit at times, and his expression remains neutral-veering-towards-pleasant throughout, "Perhaps you are not incorrect on some of this. It is true that this road of fate that your family has been walking took some very different turns because of what occurred in the old castle. And perhaps you are right in that there may yet be more and greater trials to come…but if they do…I have hope that you and your family will meet them with the same strength that has held you all together this far, for surely your siblings have been tested too, in different ways. Even your new goodbrother has endured his own trials." He glances over towards a sidetable, "Would you care for some tea? Where are my manners." He rises to pour at least himself a cup, still speaking as he goes, "But it is good that you consider that positive outcomes may have come from your trials. I would only caution that you do not bar the possibility that you yourself may one day find a good outcome of your own."

Hashim pauses a moment, then smiles, "You are a talented painter, as I have seen from a few of your pieces that are displayed within the castle. So perhaps an analogy: If a painting were naught but light, there would be no picture to see. It requires the interplay of light and dark to create a fully realized picture." He lifts the pot, and his brow, in silent question as to whether Emilia will be partaking or not. "Perhaps Rivana needed your brother to be King. Perhaps the Edge needed him to stand Vigilant. Perhaps Ironhold needs your sister as Viscountess…but do not discount that the world may need you, as well. To be without self is a noble ideal, but as with all such things, there can be too much of a good thing."

Emilia nods a little with that mild tug to the corners of her lips before she notes,"I do not think mine-family would know how to face of such any of other of way." Speaking to the matter of facing potential future matters with the strength they have shown thus far. Her slips smooth back into th emore stoic and solemn turn as she nods again. "I of know they have endured as of well in of this, been of tested, in of seeing what they dealt of with, even if not of all…is why I kept of silent for so of long, kept of much from them and of Sirrah..and shouldered of my burden of alone. " Another bit of a nod,"Of aye, he has of endured of as well, and I am of hoping he is finding of happiness and less of a trial in of this new path of his life. Even if likely, there is some of trial in of it as well. " The offer of tea does bring an incline of Emilia's head,"Of aye, please." A rise of her hand and a small fluttering turn of her fingers in sign of acceptance of it as well.

The corners of her lips tug upwards just a little,"I have not been without lacking of…pleasantries, but much of like mine trial, they are not as of known to of many." A small dip of her head comes at the compliment of her painting,"Of thanking." Though her head cants a little as he speaks his analogy of the matter in terms of painting. "It is of true, there must be of light and of dark for of a painting, and in of each of us in of turn as of well." The offer of tea is accepted. Admitting, even if a bit softly,"I do not of discount of the possiblity of such…I just of question of the why…or of what I may of be needed of for. And of yet…I of know that I perhaps will never of know of the reason and purpose to of it all."

Hashim pours another cup, moving over to offer it to Emilia before reclaiming both his own cup and his seat, "It is true…perhaps we will never know the purpose of our lives. Perhaps we should simply be content with the notion that there IS purpose in it. I believe so, anyway…of all people. Even the smallest pebble will still make a few ripples in the largest of lakes." Hashim smiles, "But whether we should be content or not, we are also inquisitive…curious. It is only natural to wonder. And so long as that wondering does not lead us from our duties, there is no harm in it."

He sips from his tea and notes, "So in this one instance…the questioning…certainly do not feel you are alone." He adds with just a touch of humor in his voice and smile.

The cup is accepted with an incline of Emilia's head, her fingers curling around it easily. "It is of hard not to be of inquisitive at times, wondering what the purpose to our of ripples might of be." Emilia does one of her little corner tugging smiles,"Though I do not of think that any would ever of think that a Cassomir was of capable of being of lead away from their of duties." It was rather a factor that seemed to hold true within them.

Drawing a sip of the tea as she listens, tasting of the particular blend a bit. "I did not think I was being of alone in of questioning…just perhaps of alone in of having…hmmm..of encouragement to of question in of certain of directions at of times." It was an aspect she does seem to take in stride, even a hint of lightness to.

"From what I have seen, surely not." Hashim notes on the matter of pulling Cassomirs from their duties, though inwardly both he and Emilia know that there are always exceptions to every rule. Still, it's said with amusement as he takes another sip of his tea, "You may be alone in that particular regard, yes. Or as I said…unique." The Prophet sets his cup aside, "Now, I think, the time for those particular questions is done for this day. Let us instead speak of pleasant things…" He considers, "Tell me of your art, if it pleases you?"

There were certainly exceptions to every rule. Rules were made to have exceptions, right? After taking another sp of the tea, Emilia does dip her head in agreement to allow for the deep questions to be put aside for the day. The direction he does take has a brow raising just a little, surprising and perhaps not since he had commented upon her art earlier. "I would not of mind. My of art is something that I find of escape of within in of a way, some of pleasure. I suppose of like how some might in of reading of a book or of listening to of music. " There is a slight pause in way of hesitation,"Perhaps of some of time..before you of depart from Roseguard, you would like to see of mine…larger of works?" A slight invitation extended, as there were few guests that actually saw the large murals in her private rooms. But the topic is continued with as the cup of tea is shared. Far more pleasant, that conversation of colors and images.

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