1866-11-15: Not Too Late
Not Too Late
Summary: Even if tired from the prior days celebrations, from another long day, Emilia is yet unable to find rest, so in turn seek solitude instead. The moment is one that They seek to take advantage of to…interesting effect. (OOC Warning : There are Voices, so your standard some might find things to be creepy warning.)
Date: 1866-11-15
Related: All things related to Emilia and her 'little' affliction.

Sleep was eluding her. No..that was not true…she was tired, she could sleep, but then she would dream..and then the screams would come. And with so many in the manse, so many in Sunsreach, many would be woken…and others would talk. So no, she would not sleep, the others needed sleep more and her family did not need even more whisperings about her. Especially now.

We are with you. You need nothing more. You need not worry.

A hand curled around the branch as Emilia climbed higher within the tree. Leaning back into the tree trunk after finding the right branch to settle upon. It had been some time since she’d climbed the trees here. But least here within the gardens there was little chance for anyone to come around, even at this hour, with so many people yet in Sunsreach…there was always a chance for someone to be upon the streets.

You should seek their company. An evening companion.

Emilia shook her head, that was certainly something she was not going to do. Especially given what They wanted, They were hungry. A slight sigh slipped as her head settled against the tree as well, a hand pulling her cloak around her to help ward some of the chill off. So it was done. He was married. He had looked happier than Emilia could recall seeing him before. No longer just at her side to protect her, but as her husband and King.

He has abandoned you. He celebrates being away from you.

He was happier now. Devested of the burden. He had even said it that last night, had spoke of ‘his departure’. He was gone. No longer her brother but now her King. Jaren had stayed with her that night, but it had been the last storm he would ever help her through. He would not have to suffer the storms in Ironhold anymore, those nights had not been easy on him either. But he was free of them now, free of her. The Archbishop had even said it was the end of dark chapter, the start to a brighter day. And it truly was for him, he was free. Now it would fall to…

She does not understand. She cannot. She has already left you.

…Raleyn. But she was to be married in days. She would not need Emilia’s help, not in the way she had helped Jaren.. Raelyn would be around more, no pull of a Lancer’s duties upon her, less need for that assistance Emilia had given and even then Raelyn would have Stephen at her side to aid her. She would be busy and have her focus upon her new position, her new husband. Her new beginning. There was already reason and way for Raelyn to not even take up the burden Jaren had cast off. Emilia would be upon her own to manage the storms. But she would soon have…

He does not care. He plays a role to deceive. He will be your end.

…Lon…no, Lonar now…But he had said that, had he not? How he had played many roles in his long years. Was this just another role for him? An easier way for him to keep watch over her, should he need to see her taken care of. Especially now that Jaren was gone and would not be there to keep watch over her. Was she just not another task for him to see to? An extension of his tasking to deal with the Bane Sidhe. He would kill her if….when…he thought it needed. A duty that had existed through the years. Nothing more.

You had a choice. You could have saved them all…from you.

She could have saved them all from it, this burden…from her. She’d made the choice thinking it was them she was saving from paying a price. She had wanted to believe that, to believe that she mattered. But it had just been selfish wishing. If she’s been willing to pay the price….as Alysande had even said…made the sacrifice for family. Jaren wouldn’t have had to make arrangements to see her watched yet…Raelyn wouldn’t have the burden shifted to her….Lon wouldn’t have had to change his life, leave everything behind to play a different part. Because of her. If she had not been selfish, they would not have had to sacrifice…would not have needed to still sacrifice…for duty, for her. Because of her. Because of the choice she made.

You made your choice. They will suffer for it. Because of you.

The choice He, The Last, had given her. She could have freed herself, unburdened them…But she had chosen different. It was impossible to go back and change the choice, but it was not too late for her to find way to free them of her. She might never be free, but they could be free, could have the burden lifted. Her head drifted forward as the silent tears started to fall with it becoming clear, as she came to understand, what she had done….what she needed to do. She had been selfish, and she would not continue to make them suffer for it. She must do what was best for them…for House, for Kingdom….it was her duty.

The Shadow within tempered the excited burble that came with sensing the direction that Emilia’s thoughts were going in. The decision made. Continuing Their subtle guidance. Adding Their whispers to her doubts and uncertainties, strengthening them, working to deepen the feelings that drove the thoughts and her sense of duty to ‘correct’ her ‘error;. Keeping Their delight withdrawn to not risk derailing Emilia’s thoughts, or warning her. She would be Their’s yet, They were certain of it. But care must be taken, especially now. The rift must be deepened first. But she would be Their’s fully, They would show Him how wrong He was.

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