1867-01-29: Cost and Consequences
Cost and Consequences
Summary: Emilia seeks a few quiet moments to wander through her thoughts.
Date: 1867-01-29
Related: How to Kill a Banshee and general Emilia stuffs.

A quiet sigh slipped as Emilia settled against the wall, her hands coming to rest atop her knees as her gaze remained upon the iron circle…or more precisely the woman within it, if she were yet to be called a woman by anyone else. They had dropped to Their contented burble moments ago, allowing Emilia as much quiet as she might ever have within her own mind any more. A moment of peace in a way. To everyone else this place was to be departed from as quickly as one might, and yet for Emilia it was a retreat of sorts, a place she could actually be 'alone' with her thoughts. She doubted anyone would care to discover that she was coming here more, not less of late. There was irony in that, especially with 'Lonar' having come to stay on with them now. And yet, she was seeing him less, not more. She was coming here instead, rather than risk the looks, the questions.

She was not blind at how some were looking at him. She did doubt he returned their interest, if he even paid it any notice at all. Had Raelyn known that she was going to task Emilia as Mistress of the Hunt after the wedding? Why had she waited to talk to Emilia about it. If Raelyn had told her sooner, perhaps she could have prepared some. She would have known what was coming, could have forestalled Lon from becoming 'Lonar' and changing his life about. She had been foolish to hope. Now it was to late, and duty would consume her.

Or perhaps she would just have an 'accident' in the woods. She had that whisper amongst the others. Only once, but it had been there. A hope for it. Was it truly just a matter of time before it came to it being more than just a hope? Were there those amongst them that would truly go to such a length? Perhaps it would have been better if she was as blind and dim witted as so many seemed to think. They would not be in this situation now if she were as so many thought. And rightly, she wasn't sure any more if she wasn't half-insane. What comfort was it after all to know that the Voices in her head were actually real and not her own?

Dark brown eyes met the black upon black eyes of ElK'a'athren. Would it truly change anything if they did find way to bring end to the banshee? They spoke of hope, of having it now, of wishing the news brought greater hope. But what was it they were actually hoping for? How could killing one thing serve to help her? The seed, the shadow was part of her in way, wasn't it? Emilia knew before that it was possible for the banshee to be ended, The Last had spoken about it. But he stayed from the course because he said the consequences were too great. And even for the one that that was killed, the known cost had been great. But what about the unknowns? Were there costs yet unseen for what had been done? Had the Banshee Spawn been drawn back by the death or was it simply the usual draw, like Emilia experienced? Weeping Child of Shadow…that is what the Prophet had called them, it was as fitting a name as Banshee Spawn, after all did not The Last call it the Shadow of ElK'a'athren within her? Were there others yet? Did she have….'sisters'? Or was she the only one touched by ElK'a'athren that remained?

Her head dropped onto the top of her hands as another sigh slipped. The Prophet had known about her, her story. How many others had Sirrah told about her? How many had he told? How many knew about her…what had happened…what she was…..and she knew not about them? It was not something that Emilia much liked to consider. It unnerved her. But what control did she have over it? What control did she really have over anything?

If they could find a way that did not cost so many lives, what would the cost come to be? For what gain? Another sigh slipped. There would be some gain, there would be less hate. The hate that Raelyn and Jaren both clung to for the Widow. She had seen it in them both when they had come here. The promise each had made in their own way. An end would free them of it, perhaps they would have closure then. Perhaps even Lon would find some sense of relief in it all, for she had seen as well the hardness in his eyes. And had he not dealt with her longer, been…were true enemies, having been created to destroy her and her kind. And of 'mom' herself…it would end her suffering in this form, this prison. Perhaps some peace could be had at last for the once Bane Sidhe. But…at what cost?

Always for others. Sirrah had spared her life so to have chance to recruit Jaren. And now Sirrah sought a 'cure' so her family would not suffer further. Lon had not killed her, had offered to teach her only so that her family might not suffer further. Had she not also made her choice not for herself but for her family, so they would not suffer further? And now this…if it would come to pass, would be for others, not herself. And yet, Emilia's thoughts could not help but return to the question 'at what cost'. There was always a cost, The Last had spoken of it several times. He could not end the banshee for how great the cost would be. The shadow could not be removed without cost. They were not allowed to return without a cost. For every decision there was a cost, for every decision it changed the paths of Fate.

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