1867-03-25: Not Listening
Not Listening
Summary: In visiting the chapel for prayers in Roseguard, Emilia's prayers get interrupted and questioned.
Date: 1867-03-25
Related: Leads to For you to decide

Her eyes briefly wandered over the chapel, there was a newness yet to it for her. It had been years since it was built, since Roseguard had become home. But it was still the ‘new’ home. A small brief breath was let out as Emilia settled to see to her prayers. She wondered some on how long that feeling would remain; yet knew it was likely to always be there with how she remained tied and drawn to the home she had grown within. To what was still there. Her eyes turned down before closing as she sought to begin her prayers.

He does not hear you. He does not listen. He does not care.

Fingers briefly curled as she considered, it was not the first time this particular line had been tried. And it was certainly not the only one who They had sought to use it upon. But…the One was not exactly the same as her siblings or her friends. Each of them she knew listened and cared…in their own ways. But the One?

You are of Us. You are beyond Him. You are Ours.

It was an aspect that she had not quite given much thought to. There was an aspect of truth to it. Wasn’t there? While it was beyond her to know which had been…was greater, she did know that the One was not as old as the Bane Sidhe….the shadow within. And It certainly had an opinion on the matter. But would He…did He even bother with someone like her, or the other Banshee Spawn, with such darkness within them? Or did He see them…her..as lost to the Abyss already? With no hope to be had because of the Darkness in her?

He saw you. We see you now. You have chosen.

She could feel Their distain in the comment…She knew which choice They meant. And it was true, Emilia had chosen him. Perhaps she had known it at the time, but she had done nothing to unmake that choice….And she knew that Lon had walked the world with the One. Was older than the One. And her…relationship with Lon…the continued relationship she had chosen…would the One frown upon that as well? Would the Church see him as a beast and not man? Her choice a Great Transgression….as Unnatural Congress? Had that choice been greater than she knew? Had it trully damned her and been a turn to embracing that within her? And how could she do pence and be forgiven for something that she didn’t see as wrong. Or even be given a pence for something she couldn’t raise as an issue to ask about…to even know what the Church might think…Let alone the One.

We are you present. We are your future. He is not listening.

There were those who said the One had some plan for her, but what if it was not the One’s plans that she was part of. To whom could she even raise such a question? Sirrah…her family, they would think she’d lost hope. That it was Their influence gaining hold. There was..Emilia’s eyes did a slow blink as the thought derailed. The Prophet. He was here and he knew what she was. She /could/ speak to him about these things. She could not ask him everything, but she could seek his thoughts, his opinion about some things. It would be something. She would make the request…..after prayers, whether the One was listening or not.

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